GLEEKING and the (emotional) power of data leaps.

During this mornings ‘get daughter to school’ routine, father (47) sent daughter (5) up to get dressed. 10 minutes later, father calls: ‘Are you dressed yet?. Daughter calls back: ‘I still need to pick pants!’ And father asks: ‘Shall I help you?’ And she’s says: ‘Yeah’. I hear the slow steps of father going up the stairs as my heart simply bursts with love. Then, I yawn, and a jet of liquid squirts out of my mouth... wtf!

Grabs phone. Internet: ‘Spit’, ‘squirt’, ‘jet’. Having a jet of liquid squirt out of your mouth and land on your hand into a small puddle is just the most bizarre experience. Is it some kind of primal leftover function of the body? Am I weird? (yes), or does this happen to a lot of people?

It turns out it is a phenomenon called ‘Gleeking’ (also gleeting, geeking, gleeping, glitting, gleaking, glicking, glything, glanding, geezing, cobra spitting, venoming, lizard spitting, gland glop).

Yes! I’m a Lizard! I’m a Cobra! (conveniently disregarding the other names). Apparently it is quite common…That you can even learn to do it?

In general, gleeking occurs when an accumulation of saliva in the sublingual gland is propelled out in a stream when the gland is compressed by the tongue. The stream of saliva is released in the general direction of the front of the mouth. If the mouth is open the jet may project several feet.[5]

Gleeking may occur spontaneously due to accidental tongue pressure on the sublingual gland while talking, eating, yawning, or cleaning the teeth. Gleeking can also be induced, for instance, by pressing the underside of the tongue upwards against the palate, then pushing the tongue forward while simultaneously moving the jaw slightly forward; or by yawning deeply and pressing the tongue against the palate. Practice is usually required to induce gleeking consistently, and induction is more likely to be successful under conditions of salivary stimulation. — Wikipedia

Whoa! I suddenly became awash with the beauty of the oscillating experiences of modern day life. I grab my coffee, feeling high on endorphins. What times we live in, where it is father that dresses the daughter, and I get to muse about how if I had wanted to answer this question as a kid, I would have had to spend a day at a library, or harass a doctor to satisfy my thirst for knowledge. A drink that now can be quenched at the tip of an organic digit.

This jumping around of human experiences (from melting heart to launching ‘Cobra venom’) felt like peeping-tomming data-wormholes. No wonder we are info-junkies. Data satisfaction is orgiastic. Hours a day gorging on unravelling every thought and question that pops into mind, while still being able to balance ‘normal life’! Data leaping remains a marvel to those born in an Internet-less home. Splashing my thoughts on this pixelized panel — glowing in the afterthought of my lizard abilities, I harvest the thought that I contribute to this world with even more data- and that one day my pixels may be endorphin raising to another soul.

A kiss and a hug to daughter as she’s off to school to learn how to be a better data-traveller…

And then I am travelling to my studio and a person in front of me is swerving from left to right going over the white line in their car like a drunken Auto-bot in the middle lane. Are they…? And to my dismay, yes… texting while driving! As I pass, the blond lady is looking frantically up and down between her legs. Unless she was just flabbergasted about weeing her pants, she was still texting as I passed…This is the downside of the glory of data-delights.

I get so upset, when I see people being so ignorant to the potential consequences of their actions. Data-suicide or Data-murder? My mind’s eye sees a thousand scenario’s of DNA splattered across the road at some point in time and space. Will this lady still be driving when our daughter gets her drivers licence? I beep my car twice as I pass her. My imagination is furious!

Then I settle as I realise that my imagination is the most powerful, orgiastic, ‘geeking’, ‘gleeping’, ‘glitting’, ‘glything’, ‘glanding’, ‘geezing’, ‘lizard spitting’, ‘gland glop’! And that it can be as beautiful, powerful and dangerous a distraction as the tablet in her hand. Her head rises, looks around, scared, she moves to the slow lane. My emotions melt away. I send good thoughts to the Lady, hoping that she’ll not do it again. I am back to marvelling at the quantum leaping of human experiences… imagining my daughters chosen outfit for tomorrow. A good day, is a good day!